Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Say cheese.


Say cheese, smile for the camera. Let the world see your smile. Say cheese, camera, action!

That is what the guest post series was. An attempt to make you think the smile was genuine. The last straw that promised to hold the fort. A way through I would procrastinate writing and still maintain consistency at whatever this Tuesday thing is.

Then it began to feel good, right after several of you reached out saying you could write for the site. It sounded great, you know, more sleep and not having to worry about writing. It translated to not having Tuesdays when I feel insecure about my spelling mistakes whenever I write. Like that time, I wrote catheter as catheder. 

The guest writers said you were a generous lot. With your likes. And comments. I am glad. Glad because you didn’t make the guests feel uncomfortable with despicable comments. Neither did you raise your hands in the middle speech to say stuff like, “Mimi I can’t even hear you well, could you try being a little audible?” (Audible. Edible. Those two words, Ooooi! They still give me a mighty great tackle. I can’t use one without thinking that I should have used the other.)

Thank you for being a wonderful audience.

Writing can be an anxious ordeal because its subjective to perception. It can be scary to express thoughts in a world where people are strongly opinionated. You can’t help wondering if your words will suffice. If someone will judge you because of what you said. Because of the parts of yourself you leave naked as you write. To tell you the truth, sometimes one isn’t really sure if the ideas they pass in writing are going to make any sense.

They said that writing was fun. And that I would potentially make money out of it. But they never told me that reading was the plus one that writing always pulls up with. Reading and writing are sako and bako. They are two events you need to do simultaneously.


You would think that at the time I took off, that I was reading. You know, filling tap A with matter so that you actually have substance to flow into tap B. But no. I did not read. Not even a little. I began watching Grey’s Anatomy though. I would totally recommend that series for its humour. The characters soon barrow into your marrow. And dude, it is written by a girl. Take that, glass ceiling!

I was also learning about the different types of cheese while I was away. Did you know that you cannot use cheddar cheese for pizza? Well, you can, but only if you are one of those people who do sock shoe sock shoe. Not sock sock shoe shoe. Or if you are from Florida.

You’ll stand there, holding your cheddar cheese and saying, “We have made pizza before, and we used cheddar cheese. You know that cousin of mine from my mother’s side that I told you about?”

“Aiii. Are you sure? Mimi I have made pizza before. All the time, I used mozzarella. So did the chefs in the YouTube videos I watched before doing it. Lakini if you are sure, we can try cheddar,” your almost certain looking niece will tell you.

“Fine, can we google?” (Because the monstrosity called the internet has all the answers to the questions of life.)

To your surprise, Google will not back up your cheddar cheese story. Every other person will be rooting for mozzarella. Except for one guy (probably from Florida) whose opinion will read, -Put whatever you want, it’s your pizza anyway. 

Both of you will decide that your intuition of coming back with cheddar for pizza was wrong, and then you’ll have an extra thing on your to-do list which will read: Get mozzarella cheese, NOT cheddar…fool!

Did you find the article cheesy ?

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  1. An amazing piece this is

    • Writing is fun; you will potentially make money from it!

      But truly, is it mozzarella or morazzella?

      • Ahem…I think it’s mozarella, Chiedo.

    • Thank you, Boaz.

  2. At least I know two types of cheese. But when I read cheddar the thought of money wakes me from sleep

    • That was the point of doing this entire piece, Altruist.
      Thank you for reading through.

  3. Cheese

    • Click click!

  4. You are a great author.This is amazing!

    • Thanks, Lorraine.

  5. I am said niece…
    Remarkable as always…
    Good to have ya’ll know that we ended up using both and the pizza was amazing…

    • Did you hear that, guys?

  6. Cheeeeese . You know, I was just thinking, how as a photographer I compliment my female clients by telling them they look beautiful instead of telling them to say ‘cheese’ when posing for a photo and I think the smiles they bring out are ever so genuine and they make my work feel like some kind of therapy for them. Anyway I was just thinking out loud. Nice writing!!!!

  7. I see someone decided to go all shiatsu in the comments section. Thanks, Barutti.


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