Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Red Lipstick.


Red lipstick seems to be popular among men. Not because they use it most, but because most of them like it on a lady. Ain’t no fierce and bold woman than one who wears her lips red.

There’s four of us walking the stretch that leads to home, two boys and two girls. The last thing I remember is asking the guy on the left if the police still did their rounds after curfew time.

I am not sure what he wants, but he had winked at me earlier on. Then he said he loves my red lipstick. I simply said thank you. Because red lipstick is the charm. It always works. Most times.

“Hao makarao hawakujangi siku hizi,” his friend, the wingman and the spokesperson of the unit, responds.

Time check; 2101hrs. There are a few oncoming vehicles. One uncouth driver has full lights on. And is approaching at a very dangerous speed. There’s almost no time to duck the vehicle as it comes to a halt right in front of our faces. Barely 6cm from the tip of my nose.

It’s a GK vehicle. Let’s call it a black Maria. My adrenaline shoots up because any minute, we may have to run. On second thought, I should have calmly talked to the officer, maybe slide a note or two into his palms.

ALSO READ; 21st September

Then one of the beasts jumps from the black Maria. He is slinging an AK47. Someone begins running. It takes me a while to process that that someone was me. Call me a coward, but that is not what the games teacher in high school thought about me.

However, has any of you heard the expression that the universe is one sarcastic fellow? On that same day, I had to be in one of my tight blue jeans. I heard they go well with red lipstick.

I took to my heels. Heart beating thrice as fast. Throbbing hard. Pumping stamina into my muscles. See, the tight jeans had different plans though. How else will I explain how girl two and boy one along with two shot past me like I was not even trying to run?

Then I tripped on a stone and fell down. My tummy felt the effect. But not as much as my phone did. It even cracked. Left my phone looking like blue prints for a spider web.

The beast caught up and came so close. A bit too close for me to be certain of my safety. These beasts are built to be violent. And they are always mad about one thing or another. Have you seen how they would rain blows on people who were out after curfew? It was in the news. The beasts really didn’t like people like us.

His hands were delicately resting on the firearm. Like you would put your hands on someone you love before telling them that you love them. He was holding that firearm like it makes him a bigger man. Like it is his only source of comfort out in the biting cold of the night.

“Mbona mnakimbia?”

It beats me how he managed to bellow out a complete statement after all that running. I was on the ground. Hyperventilating. Asking dear life not to slip out of my body because of the fear that was paralyzing my nerves.

“Msa_ma_ha…”I said in between desperate gulps for air. At that moment, I thought he was going to hit me with the butt of his AK47. I heard those things were strong enough to kill you.

He could easily do that. There was no one to watch anyway. The fuckers I had been with had all ran well past us. God for us all, right? Not even the guy who liked my lipstick stayed. I wouldn’t blame them though. I mean; I really wouldn’t have stayed back to rescue any of them had tables been turned.

I made a mental note to pretend to lose consciousness if at any minute he would start beating me up. Something I learnt from those animals in Biology that faked their death in the the face of danger. Research says that 98% of predators fall for this trick and walk away.

“Nyinyi ni wajinga sana! Mumekuwa mukilewa? Sio? ” he interrogated.

“Hapana. Sisi? Hapana. “

Wajinga sana! Kimbia!”

I got up and ran as fast as I could hoping that he would not send a bullet flying behind me. Yeah, yeah. I know I watch too much TV.

I wonder how the events would have turned out if in that confusion, I would have said to the beast, “Afandi… niko na red lipstick.” (I said wonder.)

My mind was too terrified to think of flirting my way out of the possibility of sleeping in a cell. I chose humility. I apologised profusely. My life depended on it anyway. There was no room for embarrassment .

Otherwise I would write the next week about how horrible the beans they offer in cells are. And how huge they cut their skuma. I will do that story one day. I’ve only always hoped that when I do, the experience wont be mine.

Did you know that it costs three thousand shillings to fix a cracked screen? Three whole ones. Who has three thousand shillings to waste on fixing screens?

PS; Hey ladies,

My matte red lipsticks are on sale. They are a set of six and go for three thousand shillings. Only.


Do you think men like red lipstick?

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  1. Lazima tu ungekimbia.

    • It’s in my DNA, Tank.Haha.

  2. ‘His hands were delicately resting on the firearm. Like you would put your hands on someone you love before telling them that you love them’..that line is just wow,amazing

    • Many thanks, Halk.

  3. The boys went miles away past you. Wonders will never end. Lol

    • Red flags painting the town bloody. We are all colour blind though, right?

  4. Lovely ending

    • Appreciate the feedback, Emmanuel.

  5. running is always what the mind will decide first, reasoning is for later

    • Reasoning is for later. Aha… You can say that again, Job.

  6. Red lipstick and the police… I am still finding the relationship. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Afande nikona red lip stick….” Anyway… Naachia hapo… Very entertaining

    • There was no relationship between the two from the top. Kuforce issues tu. Hehe.

  7. Nice one gal, next time hapana cheza na serikali…And for your phone 3 large ones is more than enough for a new one. I can give you a new one even with just one large…the main feature being 3 simcard slots

    • Good God! What would I be doing with three simcard slots? You need to enroll for classes in Marketing. And soon.

  8. Great piece of work.
    What’s your take, are men’s lips red or pink?

    • Tell us, is it red or pink?

      • Neither nor both

  9. I knew you ain’t a runner

    • Just because I fell down? Huh…Your judgement is a little harsh.

  10. Na vile Bor unachomokanga kama ndege ..
    Love the story!

    • The universe is alitubit sarcastic. Thanks, Chege.

  11. Red always run so deep

    • Sure does, Sunshine.


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