Sunday, June 20, 2021

Men and marriage.

-

The title men and marriage came to my mind immediately after I met up with a friend, precisely in the matatu on my way back home. He and I had been talking about a man. And marriage. The man we had been talking about was a mutual friend of ours.

I say “was” because this mutual friend hasn’t been friendly lately. The friend thought he was withdrawing because he had a baby early this year, with someone he has managed to keep a secret till now.

We don’t go around tracing people’s wives. But then you see, the guy and I were great childhood friends. He is from my clan, which means his name was and will always be Faya. Or Moto. In return, he would call me Boset. And I always thought that was beautiful.

Moto and I went to different schools, but our friendship would grow more profound each time we came back for our holidays, mostly when we were in high school. We were birds of a feather—the black sheep of our respective families. We would bond over the craziest things, like girl’s bums. What else would a boy talk about anyway? It seemed like he was oblivious to the fact that I was a girl. All I would do is listen and watch—something about macho not having pazia.

Then we became adults. With responsibilities. Like stooping into a DBA202 class, still drunk from last night with nary a pen. Or ensuring both eyebrows looked alike—anything but reaching out to one another. We drifted apart. The same person I would spend all my time with grew into a perfect stranger. All I know is that he cleared campus and came back home. Why do Kalenjin men always come back home?

He momentarily updates his WhatsApp statuses with pictures of the baby. She is a pretty thing. Her eyes sparkle, and she probably smells like a baby. Have they come up with a name yet for how babies smell? But he doesn’t talk much about her and the mother. Lately, I feel like he has been avoiding me. And I can’t stop wondering if there’s any possible way I could still show up for him.

READ ALSO: Red Lipstick.

I heard that we could only show up for people to the extent that they allow us to. Moto is now a married man and things have changed. I don’t know what happens to people when they get attached to other people, but it feels like they run out of love to give out. Accommodation gets scarce. They disappear into these people they get attached to. Then they change. Gradually. When you thought they liked the colour green, turns out they liked girls with piercings and tattoos instead. The point is, you realize that adulthood has moulded you into characters that are worlds apart with nothing in common.

Marriage scares me. No, change scares me.

Sadly, marriage is all everyone is now talking about, especially here in shaggz. Everywhere you go, you’ll always find an old-timer telling you that they have a son about your age. And while saying this, your hand will be interlocked inside their soggy-skinned ones. You just wanted to shake their hands in greeting. But then now they are holding on to yours as if they speak for their sons. Old-timers pimping out their sons. It’s funny, especially when you imagine how they would bring up the conversation with their sons later in the evening.

Ps; same place same time next week for Men and Marriage II?

11+

Share this article

Recent posts

Wifey.

"I want you to be my wifey. I know what you deserve. You need to be respected, taken good care of...

YOU

Hey you. I will not ask how you’re doing. From my once in every two months stalking sessions, you...

Change.

The need to change is oppressive on her eyes. And she is quite vulnerable to those messages that say nitumie kwa hii number, ile ingine iko na shida.

Adulting.

Tuesdays come by so fast these days. One minute it’s Friday and the next, it’s Monday and the idea I thought would...

DOGITARI.

Fact uno; Dogitari is definitely not a word you will find in the dictionary. Fact dos; Today's Wednesday....

Popular categories

Previous articleRed Lipstick.
Next articleMark.

27 COMMENTS

  1. Aint you a lil too wise for your age?

    2+

    • You are too kind, Dre.

      0

  2. Superb

    2+

    • Thanks Wily

      0

  3. Awesome. Keep up Mercy

    2+

    • Many thanks, Simon.

      0

  4. ” I have a son about your age” That’s a good way of relaying the message, aah…?

    2+

    • It’s the most subtle of ways I suppose. Works for them.

      0

  5. Times changes.

    2+

    • Tank, it does. Truly does.

      0

  6. kudos for originality, captivating to say the least

    1+

    • Thank you, Job. You are kind.

      0

  7. This story ended too soon, don’t y’all think so?

    3+

    • I thought you’d love the idea of a sequel, Altruist. Buckle up.

      1+

  8. Yea
    wanted to read more

    Part 2… The wait begins

    1+

    • Sit tight, Kip.
      Thanks for reading through.

      0

  9. Babies smell like their fathers…Nasty

    2+

    • Nooo…. hehe. They don’t necessarily smell nasty. I think you are just being mean to babies. And to fathers by extension.

      0

      • Mrs. Bor, I was literally touched by this line ‘why do Kalenjin men come back home,”
        And really, why do we like home?? Nice job

        0

  10. Kudos.
    Just know that vwe are waiting for part 2,. I still believe that the story has not yet ended.

    1+

    • Coming soon… watch this space. Hehe.

      0

  11. “….. Or making sure our eyebrows look alike”

    1+

  12. Can’t wait

    2+

    • Whoop whoop…

      0

  13. Okay.
    Can’t wait for Part 2

    1+

    • Tick tock…

      0

  14. Awesome read.I like it.

    0

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Recent comments

Eugine on YOU
on Wifey.
Darius on Wifey.
Shadrack Mutuku on Wifey.
on Wifey.
Cherono Naumi on Wifey.
Tony on Wifey.
Tank on Wifey.
Elvo on Wifey.
Chiedo on YOU
xxx on YOU
Brouce on YOU